Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
