My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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