I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
