bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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