Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
