I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
