you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
