my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
