You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
