He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I could fuck to npr.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
