hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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