real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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