We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
