wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
