and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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