nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize