i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he was CRYING into my vagina
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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