Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize