reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
