Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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