What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My penis needs a shock collar
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
