The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
