You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I wish you could order shots online.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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