whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
