Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
