Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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