Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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