You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
