Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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