The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
