I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
