remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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