U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
