You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
