Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
