How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
