Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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