I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
