I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
