: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
