I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
