you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
