Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
im holly from the hills drunk
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
