yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
