im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
