worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize