Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
