honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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