If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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