You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
third nipple confirmed
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
