I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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