yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
