Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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