How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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