I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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