Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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