Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
