what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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