It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
In America we eat man semen.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
