I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize