ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
